My Village

They say it takes a village to raise a child and I've come to realize they're right.  In modern day terms: it takes a whole town.  A combination of parents, grandparents, coaches, friends, neighbors, teachers, and anyone else you deem worthy to be in your/their lives. When someone takes an outside look into my life they may see a single mom raising two kids on her own.  And they would be partly right, but with a closer look they may realize that's not the entire picture.  They failed to notice the grandparents standing there helping, not only financially,  but also, historically,  by contributing parenting advice to help guide you through the hard times and the transitions of childhood and adolescence from their own experiences. The close friends that lend an ear when screaming is all a parent wants to do, by offering the shoulder to cry on when things just get too overwhelming to handle, and the emotional baggage they help you carry when your hands are just too full to carry the load alone.  The coaches, that help you by enforcing that praise is earned through hard work and determination for those willing to put in the work, for giving of their time to help them excel at something that is their passion, and to assist them in developing a mental toughness that they will need to pursue their dreams in life.  The neighbors, to remind them that someone is always watching so be the best you at all times and others will notice.  Teachers, to give them the knowledge to become anything in this life that they want to be.  Other parents (band, sports, dance, or any other kind), to become emotionally attached to your children in a way that allows them to offer genuine words of encouragement when they may need it most or simply,  just an ear from time to time.
 I have been very fortunate in having so many in my village that love and care for my children.  The more my village expands so does my heart with love and respect for so many others.  I only hope that my contribution has been as valuable to others as theirs has been to me and mine.  Thank you, my "village" for helping me raise my two Mongrels so far!  I couldn't do it without all of you.   ❤👏

Write-off???

I’m so disappointed that a person will just write you off for something that was unintentional.  I guess I’m different, in that I give people chances – sometimes more than they deserve (a complete fault of mine), but none-the-less, I give them.   Everyone makes mistakes and we all judge those mistakes by something I like to call the big ole’ MISTAKE-O-METER (which is based on your own individual life experiences).  Example:  where, a little white lie would land on your meter as a 2, on mine it would be an 8. Or quite possibly where a, “I said the wrong thing at the wrong time in the wrong way” may be a 10 to you, it’s more of a 3 to me.  I am not a mean person nor do I have ulterior mean motives behind any of my actions.  What I AM is a person who hates to hurt someone’s feelings.  The “People Pleaser” inside of me wants to make it right and correct the situation and mend the friendship but when not given a chance to do so my “Heartbroken Human” is, well, heartbroken.  I do a fantastic job of pretending that life is easy and fun and I’m just dandy on my own but in reality, I’m just a mushy girl on the inside.  A fact about myself that I find utterly disgusting at times (especially when my eyes begin to swell and the tears begin to fall), but it’s not something I can change either – seems I’m kinda stuck with the vagina and the breasts!  But maybe, instead of writing a person off, you try to understand where they were coming from.  A point of view that may not be your own or one that you would not have thought about before.  Maybe that person just needed a hug to settle their nerves, or a kind word in place of a harsh one, or a smile to help them make it through the day, or just to see you because they miss you, or just someone that will understand and not judge an action that was never intended to insult/injure your pride and/or feelings.  

A friend of mine gave me a new perspective to look at in situations when she said, “Look at the heart of the person not the action”.   Meaning, try to see the intention behind the action.  If you look at someone's heart, you'll know if they are a complete and utter asshat or simply went about something the wrong way.  So, for anyone reading this… if you have lost hope in people in general, take a step back, let go of the negative energy that holds you in a place of regret/anger, and take a different approach and see the “heart not the action” of the people in your life and maybe you'll gain valuable friendships that will last your entire lifetime.