Dear Me (Volume 2),

I notice you tend to say “it’s just me” to things when people are talking. Like the conversation about cooking dinner where you say, “well, it’s just me I’m cooking for”, or the debate over who controls the thermostat temp in the house and you repeat yourself, “it’s just me” so no one to fight with.  I don't think I have ever paid as much attention to how I said it or when I said or who I said that to in conversations, but this past week, it has left me feeling quite alone.  I never thought I felt that like this before.  I could try to chalk it up to depression and anxiety this week since the four-legged beast had to be hospitalized for a life-threatening condition, but I'm not sure they get all the chalk this time. What if this is some desire deep down to have someone to hold me when I can't stand anymore?   I feel like I've been standing alone for quite a long time and sometimes I just want to sit down and let someone take care of me, besides my parents.  There was no one there holding me as I tried to sleep but could only cry, no one to help me carry the burden, no one to share the load with, it was just me.

So what does just me do in this position? I reach out to the doctor in case it is just the depression and anxiety.  I reach out to my friends that I hold dear for encouragement.  I pray for peace and calm through the storm and I try to be as kind to myself as possible right now.  That's what I'm doing for Just Me for now.