My Village

They say it takes a village to raise a child and I've come to realize they're right.  In modern day terms: it takes a whole town.  A combination of parents, grandparents, coaches, friends, neighbors, teachers, and anyone else you deem worthy to be in your/their lives. When someone takes an outside look into my life they may see a single mom raising two kids on her own.  And they would be partly right, but with a closer look they may realize that's not the entire picture.  They failed to notice the grandparents standing there helping, not only financially,  but also, historically,  by contributing parenting advice to help guide you through the hard times and the transitions of childhood and adolescence from their own experiences. The close friends that lend an ear when screaming is all a parent wants to do, by offering the shoulder to cry on when things just get too overwhelming to handle, and the emotional baggage they help you carry when your hands are just too full to carry the load alone.  The coaches, that help you by enforcing that praise is earned through hard work and determination for those willing to put in the work, for giving of their time to help them excel at something that is their passion, and to assist them in developing a mental toughness that they will need to pursue their dreams in life.  The neighbors, to remind them that someone is always watching so be the best you at all times and others will notice.  Teachers, to give them the knowledge to become anything in this life that they want to be.  Other parents (band, sports, dance, or any other kind), to become emotionally attached to your children in a way that allows them to offer genuine words of encouragement when they may need it most or simply,  just an ear from time to time.
 I have been very fortunate in having so many in my village that love and care for my children.  The more my village expands so does my heart with love and respect for so many others.  I only hope that my contribution has been as valuable to others as theirs has been to me and mine.  Thank you, my "village" for helping me raise my two Mongrels so far!  I couldn't do it without all of you.   ❤👏

Write-off???

I’m so disappointed that a person will just write you off for something that was unintentional.  I guess I’m different, in that I give people chances – sometimes more than they deserve (a complete fault of mine), but none-the-less, I give them.   Everyone makes mistakes and we all judge those mistakes by something I like to call the big ole’ MISTAKE-O-METER (which is based on your own individual life experiences).  Example:  where, a little white lie would land on your meter as a 2, on mine it would be an 8. Or quite possibly where a, “I said the wrong thing at the wrong time in the wrong way” may be a 10 to you, it’s more of a 3 to me.  I am not a mean person nor do I have ulterior mean motives behind any of my actions.  What I AM is a person who hates to hurt someone’s feelings.  The “People Pleaser” inside of me wants to make it right and correct the situation and mend the friendship but when not given a chance to do so my “Heartbroken Human” is, well, heartbroken.  I do a fantastic job of pretending that life is easy and fun and I’m just dandy on my own but in reality, I’m just a mushy girl on the inside.  A fact about myself that I find utterly disgusting at times (especially when my eyes begin to swell and the tears begin to fall), but it’s not something I can change either – seems I’m kinda stuck with the vagina and the breasts!  But maybe, instead of writing a person off, you try to understand where they were coming from.  A point of view that may not be your own or one that you would not have thought about before.  Maybe that person just needed a hug to settle their nerves, or a kind word in place of a harsh one, or a smile to help them make it through the day, or just to see you because they miss you, or just someone that will understand and not judge an action that was never intended to insult/injure your pride and/or feelings.  

A friend of mine gave me a new perspective to look at in situations when she said, “Look at the heart of the person not the action”.   Meaning, try to see the intention behind the action.  If you look at someone's heart, you'll know if they are a complete and utter asshat or simply went about something the wrong way.  So, for anyone reading this… if you have lost hope in people in general, take a step back, let go of the negative energy that holds you in a place of regret/anger, and take a different approach and see the “heart not the action” of the people in your life and maybe you'll gain valuable friendships that will last your entire lifetime.

I need a minute

Sometimes, a Momma just needs a minute.  A minute to bitch and whine like a child, pitch a fit like a toddler or stomp her foot and walk away like a teenager.  A minute to express their level of pissed-off-ness without being judged by the general public for not being a “pulled together all the time” Mom.  A minute to just be tired of doing it alone ALL THE TIME and wallow in that loneliness.  A minute to be jealous of those moms that have that partner to help and listen and comfort them when it becomes too much to handle.  A minute to reflect on their own failed attempts at love and wonder, “How the hell am I supposed to give you relationship advice?  You have been present for the majority of my epic failures in picking out a significant other, correct?”  A minute for remembering how it felt to not worry about anyone other than themselves.  A quiet moment just to herself.  The minute has now faded and reality is standing there with their hands on their hips staring at her with complete disdain, “MOM, what’s for dinner????  Can you do a load of my laundry???? I need that in the morning for school!”  Ugh…I think I’m gonna need another minute!  

Comparing apples and oranges

Too many people these days try to compare themselves to others.  I have been
known to do this from time to....always!!! I'm learning that everyone has
flaws...no one is completely perfect and you have to love yourself so that
others can love you and your imperfections as well.  I've spent countless
hours debating this to myself over a pint of ice cream while crying into the
mirror about the fat that has accumulated on my non-existent core.  Maybe I
should stop focusing so much on what I don't have and focus more on what I
do have...like, a complete kick-ass, sarcastic brain that allows me to
create scenarios in my mind that occupy me while irritating people are
talking to me...or my lack of organization that will always lend me an
excuse as to why I cannot attend a boring function because I'm trying to get
my house "in order"...or the perfect timing I have when it comes to spotting
the elephant in the room and the carefree nature I have of jumping on that
bitch and riding it down the street naked....or how about the endearing eyes
that God blessed me with that read, "I really care about your problem" all
the whilst I'm conjuring thoughts of world domination???  With all of these
things going for me, how would I ever have time to wonder how more fabulous
others are?  And why would I even care??    ;-)

Forever forgetful but never forgetting

I am a forgetful person the majority of the time.  I forget to what I want to say, I forget what I need to get, and I forget what I'm doing at times.  I would take some sort of vitamin for memory but I'm sure I'd just fuckin forget to take it!! But when it comes to this day, March 16th, I will never forget what I was doing, where I was going, or who I was with when my phone rang.  I learned a few hard lessons when that phone rang. 
1.  Sometimes, you may not want to care about someone but that doesn't stop you from actually caring about them.
2.  Life can end when you least expect it.
And the BIGGEST lesson...
3.  Regret can and will haunt you..so be sure to tell those in your life how you feel.

It's been a year and I have not been able to bring myself to deleting your number or texts from my phone.  And when Hope throws up in the floor, I swear I can hear you laughing that loud obnoxious laugh at me!! Jonathan Keith Stroupe, I still miss your friendship, your kindness, and I still miss you!!

All kinds of love in this LIFE

When did "living the dream" become some nightmare?? Too many people have lost sight of just living and being happy.  You can find happiness just about anywhere if you look...riding down the road, windows down, radio up puts a smile on my face just about any time. .or watching my two seemingly argumentative-bound teenagers spending time just talking & laughing with each other warms my heart...or just a good laugh with a friend can make all the wrong decisions you've ever made seem worth it because you're in that moment where you understand what truly is important in this life....LOVE. Love comes in many shapes, sizes, and colors so we shouldn't limit the capacity with which we love nor should love have to remain within certain boundaries.  Society leads us to believe that love has to be returned in order to be valid or expressed.   BULLSHIT!!! Just because a person doesn't love you in the exact same way doesn't mean your love is any less.  It simply means that it may not be returned in the same fashion that it was given but that should never be the point.  We can't help who our hearts find worthy to speak to in this life...all we can do is listen to the conversation & hope we learn something - insightful!!! Sooo, don't be afraid to love & don't be afraid to tell those in your life that you love them...I would rather say it than regret someone never knowing!!!

"Jen's Ten"

I came up with “Jen’s Ten”.  Top ten things that I want.   So, let’s run down that top 10 checklist, shall we?

1. Say “Laters, Baby” when saying goodbye (Mr. Christian Grey makes it just seem completely HOT to hear that)

2. Tell me what you want in no uncertain terms with no reading between any lines and no confusion within the statement (because I can find doubt in just about any corner or crevice of a conversation)

3. Make me laugh even when I don’t want to

4. Wear AMAZING man-smelling deodorant (just go with it)

5. Be YOU and never feel a need to put on or pretend you’re someone you’re not

6. Quite possibly need a hearing aid (or enjoy listening to incessant talking at times)

7. Willing to call me on all of my bullshit and not let me slide on it (because, honestly, I’m tired of sliding by on it)

8. Honest (but not to a fault, because you know what you shouldn’t tell me)

9. Pick a pet name that is original (no pookie, sweetie, honey pie, or darling).

10. Surprise me often (by staying when it’s not always easy)

There it is…in black and white…no hiding from it anymore. It’s not much…just all that I want.