The NOTS in it....

Spinnin' me around,
Had me so confused.
I was dancin' all alone
Barefoot with no shoes,
To the beat of my own heart.
Wishin' I could go back,
Back to the very start.
Cause the start was so clear,
Just let go of the past,
And all of the fears.
The fear of the NOTs,
Like all the times before.
The NOT good enough
Knocking down my damn door.
The NOT strong enough,
Comin' apart at my seams,
The NOT pretty enough,
For the man of MY dreams.
The do NOT touch me man
He’s feelin’ some type of way,
Got me NOT feeling like myself
NOT knowing what to say.
But let’s tell it like it is
From here on out.
It’s all of your NOTS
That give you the doubts.
So, why you're wastin' time
And feelin' your way along,
Don't be lookin' for me
Cause I'll be movin' on.
See, I am that chick
More loyal than you know
You just didn't have it in ya'
To love me and let go.

"Don't let your mouth block your blessings"

When people talk about the gifts that God has given them, I have constantly wondered, what is mine?  I contemplated this for many years and one day, I thought to myself the only thing that I somewhat do well is run my mouth. If you know me, you know I’m a talker and have been since I was born.  In fact, I’m pretty sure my first breath wasn’t a breath at all but a word spoken that no one understood at the time!   I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY WORDS!  So, maybe that is my gift?  The “gift of gab” (if that’s truly a gift) has not always been used to promote happiness or understanding, and at times has been very venomous and spiteful.  I know, that sounds so horrible but it’s the honest truth. Now, as far as what I’m supposed to do with this “gift”, I am left a little lost, so for now, I will continue to pray about that.  BUT, that’s beside the point of this post, so let me get back to it.

With me glowing in my love of my words, it happens that lately, I have found my thoughts senseless and completely jumbled inside of my head. The words are there, but nothing seems to come out.  It’s like I can almost touch them but I can’t speak or type them.  My lover, Language, has been my best friend for years and now wants to pack his bags and leave?  What am I to do without my words?   Then, it finally dawns on me…maybe...just maybe, I’m not supposed to DO anything!  That this is God’s way of saying, “There is nothing you need to say or do, but trust ME!  I am handling this.”   It’s like He had taped my mouth shut and blocked my mind so that I didn’t interfere with His work because He knew the words that I wanted to use and they were not loving or kind, or even polite.  

What's the moral of my epiphany:  When God starts to work and we step in the way and try to do things on our own, we are interfering in business that we have no business interfering in!  So sometimes, if the words don't seem to come so fluidly to you, there is a reason for that.  Trust in the silence because God's plan is bigger than any of the words that I love so dearly!