Thoughts in the sand..

I step forward in the sand and watch as my toes sink further into it while thoughts are rolling through my head at an alarming rate this morning.  I was hoping the walk would clear the cobwebs out that has seemed to take the place of my normal daily thoughts.  Intertwining like silk strings, each dangling with the what ifs, the why nots, and this overwhelming feeling like things can never just go back.  Never go back to where we were before...before the hurt and the disappointment, back to where it was roses and sweet nothings whispered and believed.  Do those words carry the same value that they once did?  I was lost when you took that love away the first time and I'm not sure I am strong enough to do it again.
I see love as an ever evoling creation between two people.  I want my portion of the creative voice to be heard, never disregarded but understood.  But the older I get the more I believe it to be ignored.  My inner spirit needs to be spoken to...cuddled at night...sung to sleep...made to feel secure...and loved openly and abundantly.  I'm not sure there is another soul in this world that can handle the needs of my spirit.  Even if I sit in quiet, my mind and spirit are engulfed in flames.   Fill me with your presence and never leave me wandering alone in this world...if I feel alone, I will be alone.  Perfection will never be achieved but love could be found through the chaos of my spirit when attention is given to my heart.