It saddens my heart to have to write you this letter since I have considered you a dear friend and a confidant in all things epic over the span of my life! But, as of lately, you have disappeared when I have needed you the most. I truly hope nothing bad has happened to you. I know you have a tendency to dabble with the strippers and the occasional bender is just fine, but I need you back in my life. You add spice and leave me feeling more than content which is something I have been lacking as of late.
Since you haven't been here, let me fill you in on what's been going on....ummm, uhhh....well, ummmmm....Well, since Bunny Boredom came along nothing has really happened. Even her showing up has been uneventful. Except for the fact that I can't get rid of her, I believe she may think I'm a lesbian now since you've been gone so long...She's GOT to go! Sorry, Bunny, I prefer dick over blondes!!! She could never understand the connection that you and I have together. You will always be my number 1, el numero uno! Our adventures have always been exciting and full of surprises! Remember that one time in Charleston??? The Wet Willy afternoon? OH my, Good times..good times. And who could forget the big White House dance floor? You, my friend, were a complete kick ass partner that night and I've been wanting to dance with only you ever since! Oh well, I needed to tell you that I miss you and hopefully, you will come back into my life very soon to create some sunshine where there currently is none. Oh, if you want, you can bring along that HOT fella named Inspriation (and the strippers) and we can truly get the party started! ***ME BLUSHING***
Until we dance again, here is all my love and hopes of you sweeping me off my feet..once again!
Smooches, Darling!
Signed, Uninspired as of late
