Fun has left the building!

My Dearest Mr. Fun,

It saddens my heart to have to write you this letter since I have considered you a dear friend and a confidant in all things epic over the span of my life!  But, as of lately, you have disappeared when I have needed you the most.  I truly hope nothing bad has happened to you. I know you have a tendency to dabble with the strippers and the occasional bender is just fine, but I need you back in my life.  You add spice and leave me feeling more than content which is something I have been lacking as of late.
Since you haven't been here, let me fill you in on what's been going on....ummm, uhhh....well, ummmmm....Well, since Bunny Boredom came along nothing has really happened.  Even her showing up has been uneventful.  Except for the fact that I can't get rid of her, I believe she may think I'm a lesbian now since you've been gone so long...She's GOT to go! Sorry, Bunny,  I prefer dick over blondes!!!  She could never understand the connection that you and I  have together.  You will always be my number 1, el numero uno!  Our adventures have always been exciting and full of surprises! Remember that one time in Charleston??? The Wet Willy afternoon? OH my, Good times..good times. And who could forget the big White House dance floor?  You, my friend, were a complete kick ass partner that night and I've been wanting to dance with only you ever since!  Oh well, I needed to tell you that I miss you and hopefully, you will come back into my life very soon to create some sunshine where there currently is none.  Oh, if you want, you can bring along that HOT fella named Inspriation (and the strippers) and we can truly get the party started! ***ME BLUSHING***
Until we dance again, here is all my love and hopes of you sweeping me off my feet..once again!

 Smooches, Darling!

Signed, Uninspired as of late

Fighting crime one Gabe at a time......

A simple evening shopping leads to a crime stopping adventure.  Last week as I’m shopping around one of my favorite discount non-chain stores, I encounter a crime being committed…well, what I saw to be a crime.  A gentleman walked into said lovely cheap store with nothing in hand and proceeded to walk out with two very large bags of items without first stopping by the checkout counter to pay for those items. So, as I pull into the parking lot tonight (along with my trustee side kick, my partner in all things non sexual), I spot a vehicle that appeared to look like the prior week’s get-away car!  I get out, nonchalantly walk to the back of the car and make note of the license plate (2 things here…nothing was nonchalant about peering my head around the back of that car for a whole 5 seconds and calling it out to said partner in crime and second, I forgot the last four numbers of the plate as soon as I walked away), we proceeded inside the store not believing that the suspects would be inside less than a week later.  I informed Wonder Windy (aka partner in all things non sexual) the physical description of the three perpetrators as we are entering the scene of the “alleged” crime.  We weren’t in the store 5 minutes before suspect one was spotted (and I believe he was wearing the same white t-shirt as last week so he doesn’t appear to be smart enough to steal something else to wear!). Once identification was made, I informed management (well, the little old lady with gray hair at the fitting room who called the manager three times but he never came).  Oh well, the team of associates followed them around the store until they finally departed..one at a time, and might I add, leaving behind a buggy full of items they had planned on stealing.  Not my business some may say but to those people I say, “You ARE welcome!”.  If people continue to steal, it drives the cost up for us buying consumers and I can only find so many clothes my size at the Goodwill people!  Needless to say, I was wearing my super hero cape tonight foiling the criminals plans to loot a store!  Super Girl better watch out….Wonder Windy and Capt'n Cook are on the prowl.  You never know if we will be appearing at your favorite store next….(unless it’s high end then it’s safe to say you won’t see us there unless we are the perpetrators, we got pennies to pinch around this phone booth ;-) ).  As I tuck my cape back under my dress, the phone rings, the Mongrels are in need of rescue, Geesh, that cape never gets a rest!!!