"Jen's Ten"

I came up with “Jen’s Ten”.  Top ten things that I want.   So, let’s run down that top 10 checklist, shall we?

1. Say “Laters, Baby” when saying goodbye (Mr. Christian Grey makes it just seem completely HOT to hear that)

2. Tell me what you want in no uncertain terms with no reading between any lines and no confusion within the statement (because I can find doubt in just about any corner or crevice of a conversation)

3. Make me laugh even when I don’t want to

4. Wear AMAZING man-smelling deodorant (just go with it)

5. Be YOU and never feel a need to put on or pretend you’re someone you’re not

6. Quite possibly need a hearing aid (or enjoy listening to incessant talking at times)

7. Willing to call me on all of my bullshit and not let me slide on it (because, honestly, I’m tired of sliding by on it)

8. Honest (but not to a fault, because you know what you shouldn’t tell me)

9. Pick a pet name that is original (no pookie, sweetie, honey pie, or darling).

10. Surprise me often (by staying when it’s not always easy)

There it is…in black and white…no hiding from it anymore. It’s not much…just all that I want.

Old Spice??

In this digital age of dirtiness, the subtle art of sexiness seems to have taken a back seat to sex (pun intended of course).  These days it's just so easy to send that text or snap & send a pic that would make your momma smack you, but is that what sexy has been reduced to? Reduced to a dirty picture that will probably end up on the Internet one day...Reduced to a text that leaves nothing to the imagination...But what one person finds to be sexy another individual may not...like the smell of a man's Old Spice deodorant ..Not YOUR speed??  Well, whether it's a smile, a look, a smell, or even a quality that someone exhibits that you find irresistible, appreciate the feeling that you experience in those moments instead of wanting to jump directly to the end means.   We should all revel in the playfulness of developing and exuding our own sexiness. Determine what you find sexy in someone else & work on amping up your own sexy factor because confidence is one of the sexiest things a person can exhibit..And remember that sexy is not defined by the act of sex but in the feelings of desire & attraction that fuels a spark between people. 
So go ahead and ssk yourself, what do you find sexy??

Living in a different realm

Maybe it's my age or some hormonal urgency that I haven't quite come to grips with yet, but am I turning into a cynical romantic?   I know that is a contradiction within itself but bare with me for a little bit.  The more I watch movies these days I sit and think to myself, "Why can't my life be like a movie, where everything is scripted to lead to some big climax that everyone (mostly me) is waiting to see?".  I believe that most movies are scripted from actual life in some fashion so it's a completely plausible idea.  Too bad some of our scripts have chapters that got jumbled up, shifted around and, I believe at times, all together fogotten! 
So, how do you become a cyncial romantic?  First, you must believe that somewhere inside of you that you have all the sentimental, amorous affection running through your veins like a dormant disease just waiting for the right person to come along for it to be activated.  Second, you must idly sit by and wait for this right person to introduce himself/herself into your life for the sole purpose of being your mushy-madness pin cushion.  Thirdly, you must completely bare your soul to this pin cushion which, I must warn you, will be a dire expression of a non-existent reciprocation of madening adoration.  Lastly (and I believe the most important factor in becoming a cynical romantic), when picking yourself up off that proverbial floor because the delusional enchantment of passion has ended, you must erect the walls of cynicism around your heart.  This means that you can believe all the movies and stories about finding love and living the Cinderella life (life after the evil step-mother and all) but you disavow that this could ever happen for you.  You can believe you are worthy of the momentous love story that captures the hearts of all little girls throughout time but you do not bite into the bullshit of that great story being your story.  Once you accept this to be a fact you will have completed your transformation from the lost broken hearted looking for love to the ever sarcastic cynical romantic that continues to live in the realm of an idea instead of reality. 

Dear Mr. Boredom,

I'm sorry to be writing you like this but you have left me no other alternative.  I
have to be honest with you...I just can't spend any more time with you these days...I would say it's not you it's me but let's face it...it is you!! You come in & offer no excitement or fulfillment to my life which leads me to explore self-destructive behaviors that leave me feeling empty & alone.  So I have made a decision, I'm gonna have to stop you from visiting me so often.  I'm gonna have my hands full of regret & shame for the next little while.  Don't worry though...things will get out of control soon and I'll invite you back...until then, smooches!!!!

Outside

Here is my newest poem....Let me know what you think about it!

Outside

  BY: Jennifer Glover

I stood outside your window today,

And saw a glimpse of a girl I knew.

When time was still her friend

And innocence abounded too.

She told me of times long gone,

And of loves from her past.

How she thought they would only grow

And that they would forever last.

I stood there, hanging on every word.

The great stories that she told,

Of how this life had captured her,

And the battles that did unfold.

The pieces of her soul left behind,

Measured more than she had thought.

For in this journey she called life

She had to follow her heart.

I stood outside your window today,

Hoping to see this girl again,

But to my surprise she wasn’t there,

She wasn’t there, my friend.

Ode to the skinny girl.....

Ode to the skinny girl… poem by Jennifer Glover


What I wouldn’t give to be a skinny tart,
To blow away with one good fart.

To go to spin class and love cardio
Instead I drink milk and eat Oreos.

To bend over and paint my toes
Without doing some crazy yoga pose.

To stand tall and walk with class
Instead of carrying around this big ‘ole ass.

To go shopping and wear cute outfits,
Instead of giving up and calling it quits.

To look in the mirror and like what I see
And not be critical of all that surrounds me.

To strut around like my shit don’t stink
Because truth be told that’s what I’ll think

Checking out for a day.....

I have been on this "Becoming a happier person" path and it is not easy at all.  How do all those happy people do it?  I mean, do they drink some heavily (hallucinogenic) spiked water or what?  I have tried to let positive thinking overcome everything but I have failed miserably in my attempts.  I don't want to say it is due to all the stressful things that have been going on lately and if things were just normal then I would have been able to pass this test with flying colors because ultimately, live is messy and chaotic.  Normal is trying to figure out how to pay the power bill this month without pissing off the cable company by having their check in late.

 I have found myself drowning again in that "negative pot".  Always feeling like I'm trying to claw my way out of it just to reach the top and fall right back in again.  A never ending struggle that leaves me drained without any signs of a happier me.  I have to find the right balance of stress, happiness and freedom.  I recently had a touch of true freedom and it consumed me.  I loved every minute of it.  I was the happiest I have been in a very long time. For the most part, I always feel like I'm trapped.  Trapped behind some medieval wall with the enemy looming on the other side with spears just waiting for me to drop my guard and attack.  For a brief minute the other day though, those guards were able to take a break, go to the bathroom, get them something to eat and take a quick cat nap before the peace came to a halt and they had to man their posts again to be ready for that always vigil enemy outside that wall.  Briefly, I felt like all the stress, worry and drama that surrounds my life was no where to be seen.  I wasn't thinking about anyone else in this world but myself!  Selfish????  I don't think so.  How can I become a better person if I am always consumed with the actions of other people and how they effect my life?  The answer I have come up with is I CAN'T!  To some extent we all need to be selfish when it really comes down to it.  By that I mean, if I let others completely drain me of who I am, what good would I be for them or anyone else in this life? 

Everything in life is choices, right? RIGHT! So, I'm going to make the choice right now to not let anything or anyone put me back into that pot of misery!  I am going to think positively and go for my dreams.  One day, I will find the right path for me and explore it with full abandon and a little sarcasm.