Dearest Mental Health

 When we were walking through Wal-Mart today, I felt how you shrunk down inside of me.  I felt your anxiety that ran throughout, where you started questioning your every decision this past week. How you were beating yourself up about everything that happened…stop!  Just take a moment and breathe!  

When you were in that past relationship, you were made to walk on egg shells as not to disturb the monster that you called significant other.  You ate guilt for breakfast, lunch, and dinner because you were manipulated to believe everything wrong was your fault.  You saw no way out from the prison that you helped to create for yourself by allowing the narcissist to have access to your thoughts while you slept.  It felt like there were days in that aftermath that you could barely breathe, but you managed to keep getting up every day and began working on yourself once he was gone. You sought help and guidance from a professional because you were so beaten down you couldn’t even stand on your own two legs at that time. Now, you’re better.  You didn’t run away from the fight for your life, you walked passionately and intently toward this version of you.  I kinda like you now.  So, why does everything in you say to run now?  That feeling to run away, not walk, from the job you’ve had for so long now because you feel that same pull into darkness you once did. The familiarity of those eggs shells crunching under your feet, once again triggering you to into a shell of this person you’ve become.  The sound of the lies piercing your ears becomes so loud you can’t hear me cheering you on past them.  You promised yourself to never be in a relationship like that again, but you were there first before this monster. Now he roams the same hallways five days a week with his control issues.  You’ve expressed yourself and are aware now of this trigger but I see you raising your hand to ask a question because if you  speak out of turn you are argumentative or combative to his sense of self.  My friend, you fought hard to get past those demons and I can’t stand by while you’re flailing your arms asking for help, not again.  I am listening, I hear you, I am right here with you now and always. So, breathe, get on your knees and give this one to God, let Him fight this battle for you.  Then get up, put your hand down, and walk toward the doors and opportunities that God presents. 

Signed,

M.E.